whiney post

So I never finished my previous post. I need to learn to tell stories quicker and less detail. So im going to ramble today. I have alot going on my mind and need to jot a fet down.

I need to start budgeting better. I feel like we are in a sinking hole and i need to figure out how to get myself out of it. It doesn't help that i can't talk to chad about it because he will just get stressed out and blame me for a lot of things. Thats why im trying to do accounting for all of our transactions to see where our money is really going. (eating out and him trying to be nice and pay for other peoples meals)!!!

I am frustrated with my weight. i am starting the couch to 5k. Last night was the first workout. It didn't seem to be too bad. Just hope these July nights aren't too bad so I can workout outside still and not say i am and then not. but seriously ive been cutting back calories and now walking at lunch time and going to in the evenings. ugh and i have nothing to show for it. obviously it wont happen overnight but damn im tired of it. I have 2 pairs of work pants. 2. disgusting right. well i feel bad for buying more when we dont have the money. and i just want to get back into the clothes i was wearing before! and im scared to death that it wont happen. god i have at least 10 lbs to lose before july 31st - my cuz's wedding. and i want to be back at my pre pregnancy weight so bad!

my gma is in the hospital and will be there for a very long time (need to update another time with her story, omg its a roller coaster ride) but i feel guilty for not going down during the week because by the time we get off work and then get there, eat supper and then home again its way later than i want to be going to bed. plus poor cole man gets thrown off his schedule. plus im liking staying home and either going for a walk or just cleaning up my house. 2 days of nothing to do at night and its wonderful. Even though im doing it only with cole man and hogan. as chad can't seem to stay home and enjoy quiet time. but its prolly better this way so that i don't ring his neck.

and we have a camper. have we used it this summer - twice. i told chad our goal is 2 times a month because im paying for this and its pointless to have a camper if we don't use it. ugh. well june is now over and we never got it out for june. July there are potential dates but we are waiting for his sis to have her baby which will take up the first two weekends. because can't really plan to do something and then poof a baby! there is the 3 weekend which we have something going on sunday but we could potentially go during the week and just come home sunday early or sat. then 4 weekend we have a bachelore/ette party. then the last weekend we have a wedding. Seriously we shouldn't be this busy on weekends. August we have potential first weekend available then mini vacations planned with my family for the next 2 then we have a potential baptism the last weekend. ugh then sept first weekend we have labor day wich we are going on vacation with chads family. then the weekend after that potential baptism if it wasn't in aug. So I forsee that we do have 2 weekends in a month for july and aug. But the hard part is conviencing chad to go.

I hate worring about stupid stuff like this but this is what i have to worry about on top of whether or not im being a good mom and having to determine what coles cries are meaning. im exhausted. just flat out tired!